Duke’s favorite critter

"Just cook the damn thing, would ya!?!"

Growing up in the Midwest, I didn’t like seafood. No, let me rephrase, I didn’t KNOW seafood. Since I moved to the D.C. area 5ish years ago, I have found a whole new love in what I consider good food, even if it doesn’t walk around on land.
Lately, a new craze has hit us in the D.C. area. Lobster rolls! We even have a lobster roll food truck cruising the streets of D.C. during lunch hours like some demented ice cream truck for adults. At 22 bucks average cost per roll around here, I figured I should give it a try myself, instead of spending what I normally would for a good filet that shows up on four legs.
Keeping a keen eye out for when lobster went on sale, I decided to have one of those giant bugs plucked from it’s watery home and come over to my house for dinner, and to meet my cat, Duke, who also now likes lobster.
A true, good lobster roll is very simple. Depending on the part of New England you might be in, there are family feuds over what goes in a good roll. And the big question is: butter or mayo? As in, what you toss the lobster with… I personally decided to go the mayo route as that is the type I’ve had, and liked. Other than that, a split top hot dog bun (I’ll get into that later), some lemon juice, paprika and a green of some sort.
So, what is a split top hot dog bun? I have no idea. I know what they look like and taste like, but my local stupermarket sure doesn’t sell them. So instead… Get a full, unsliced Italian bread loaf. Slice pieces of bread that are 1 1/2 inches wide. Then take that thick slice you just made and cut it down the middle until about an inch from the bottom. Butter both sides and brown in a hot pan. Open the split and fill with your lobster concoction.

Lobster rolls from a Midwesterner

Recipe for: Lobster rolls, two of them to be exact.

Shopping List:

1  1/2 – 2 lb lobster

Juice from half of a lemon

1/4 Cup mayonaise

3 green onions minced

1/2 tsp. smoked paprika

1 Tbl sea salt

1 fresh, unsliced loaf of white Italian bread


In a large stockpot with a steamer basket in the bottom, add water until it is 2 inches deep. Bring to a boil over high heat and add the sea salt. Steam lobster for 8 minutes for a 1 1/2 lb, 9 minutes for a 2 lb. Remove from pot and let cool. Crack and remove meat from the claws, knuckles and tail. Put meat in a bowl and discard the body (unless you want it for stock). Gently toss the meat with half of the green onion, lemon juice, mayo and paprika. Load up your buttered and browned split buns with your lobster “salad” and garnish with the rest of the green onion. Serve with absolutely nothing else.


About Davela

Helicopter mechanic by day, creative home cook by night. Being a little bit of a perfectionist makes both jobs interesting and I am always searching for better ways to do things. I love to teach others about the tools and techniques I use, different cuisines I come across and am always open to new ideas, as well as constructive criticism that can make what I do even better. View all posts by Davela

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